


matzah and maror

by awesomems



Series: passover 2020 / pesach 5780 challenge [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Jewish Natasha Romanov, Jewish Sam Wilson, Jewish Steve Rogers, Jewish Wanda Maximoff, M/M, Past Suicide Attempt, Pesach | Passover, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), barely mentioned but stay safe, but again they're only mentioned, sorry y'all, talkin bout the plane crash, that's why, this one's sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23626336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomems/pseuds/awesomems
Summary: Steve and Natasha observe the first Passover post-Thanos.Matzah: The unleavened bread eaten during Passover, representing how when the Jews left Egypt, there was no time for bread to rise.Maror: Bitter herbs eaten in remembrance of our enslavement in Egypt, as well as the Temple in Jerusalem.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Series: passover 2020 / pesach 5780 challenge [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695439
Kudos: 18





	matzah and maror

**Author's Note:**

> ngl this one kinda got away from me. i rewatched infinity war and was in the mood to write sad, so that's what i did.
> 
> the central theme of this part of the seder is remembrance, so i took some liberties and applied that to remembrance of the dead. 
> 
> there are some additional notes/explanations of some things i did here in the end notes. hope you enjoy!

Steve woke up, alone, again, the same way he had every day in the almost-a-year since Thanos. He was tense most of the time now, unable to rely on normal things, things he thought would always be there, like the bustling of the city (which was so  _ quiet _ now) or Bucky, even. 

There was the group therapy, but he didn’t like how his first instinct was to bottle up his own grief so he could comfort the others, pretending like he was fine even though he didn’t even  _ survive _ the first time he grieved like this. (All of his friends knew the real reason for the plane crash, despite all they pretended not to.)

He checked the date on his phone (Sam had showed him how to display both the Gregorian and the Hebrew dates, and even though it wasn’t perfect and wasn’t adjusted to change at sunset instead of midnight, it helped him keep track of and contextualize time), where it said  _ Nisan 15, 5779 _ , and he was filled with dread.

Passover always was Bucky’s favorite holiday, and he did not feel anywhere near ready to face it without him. He rifled around in a kitchen drawer for that letter he’d got back from Becca when he wrote her a couple years ago asking for her mother’s recipe for matzah ball soup, a dish he liked to make whenever he felt homesick, although it was never the same. It was usually impossible to replicate a family recipe the way they used to make it, but it did do something to soothe the ache in his soul. 

Someone knocked at his door, and he opened it without checking, knowing it was Natasha (she was the only one who he talked to regularly anymore). 

“Hey,” she said, concerned, putting a bag on his counter. “How are you doing? I made latkes, no flour. Didn’t know if you kept kosher.”

“Thanks,” he said, not answering the question, worried that once he started, he wouldn’t be able to stop. They stood in silence, despair palpable in the air. “He loved Passover.”

“Bucky?”

“Yeah, Bucky.” He didn’t  _ want _ to talk about this, but maybe he needed to, since it all came tumbling out anyways. “We talked about hosting our very own seder this year. Sam was gonna make a  _ tzimmes _ , and Wanda was gonna bring saffron-infused challah, for Shabbat the night before.”

“It’s not over,” Natasha tried her best to comfort, even though it was clear she didn’t even believe that. She turned her attention to the pot he had put on the stove almost two hours ago. “Are you making something?”

“Matzah ball soup, a Barnes family recipe. It’s almost ready, if you want some.” He moved to tend to the soup since the stock was done and it was time to assemble, and Natasha took the liberty of getting dishes out for this small, not-so-festive meal.

Steve and Natasha sat, cried, exchanged stories, it being the first time either really allowed themselves to feel all of their post-Infinity War emotions, feeling truly  _ alive _ for the first time since everything changed.

**Author's Note:**

> i mention the hebrew date since, no matter what day this happens to fall on the gregorian calendar, passover always starts of the 15th day of nisan, which is usually between late march-late april. 5779 was the hebrew year corresponding to 2018-19.
> 
> this takes place on pesach i, but it would be customary for steve to light a yizkor (memorial) candle on pesach viii, so there's some additional thoughts.
> 
> kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
